I'm still alive. Struggling, juggling responsibilities, completely fed up with the stupid thesis and the stupid translation... I am so horrible at translating. I am ashamed at how many words I still need to look up, though in my defense, this is an academic text on Arai Hakuseki's view of historiography. Fun stuff. All thirteen pages of it. :p

I have to be done with everything on May 6th. I am bloody nervous, I can tell you. I need to be done with the thesis in about a week, because it has to go to the printer too.

Wish me luck, think of me, and forgive me if I've been neglecting you lately. It's for a good cause.

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I used to pay for my LJ-account. I did so gladly and it was worth it: $5 bought me two months of membership, hardly a big bite out of my budget. It's probably the only site I ever paid to be a member of. I think I was a paid member for over three years easily.

I stopped wanting to pay when the site was sold.

That was my strike. I did not renew my membership. And I rarely write here anymore.

Part of the reason LJ always had a free option was because a lot of volunteers worked to keep things running. I never volunteered, but I seriously considered it and I have great respect for all people who worked so hard for the LJ community in their spare time. A company now bought all those hours of volunteer work.

I don't know whether I should support a one-day boycot; I don't think wanting something for nothing is what the strike is about. People don't complain about things not being free, if you see how many paid members/ex-paid-members and permanent members are complaining.

I might pay again for LiveJournal in the future. I'm just not sure if I want to support this company with my money or my viewing of ads. I do miss those days when I started this journal back in 2002, after having had to wait for an invite, then sharing MY invites with others. When I was so excited about LJ that paying for it was the least I could do.

Things change.

I like magic. I was never a serious magician, though as a kid I was trying to learn for a while. I was a rather bad magician, and I make no illusions about that!

I always loved performing, and I am fascinated by weird stuff, especially religious and spiritual weird stuff. I love watching astro-tv, a Dutch infomercial-program where one of the three psychic hostesses does two-minute readings when she's not practically begging for someone to call, filling the time with fluff about how wonderful mediums/tarot/astrology etc. are or talking about the private line you can call anytime, as well as the text message service they offer. I do not know if these folks are genuinely psychic, but I have my reasons to doubt it.

Now, for some time I have been (metaphorically) drooling over a certain book, written by Ian Rowland. I finally got it for my birthday and it exceeds my expectations. Among other things it contains information on how to be able to perform as a psychic for entertainment. It's an informative and well-written book, I absolutely love it.

I need volunteers to practice, so if any of you wants me to do a reading, let me know.

Onni is moving back to the girl who got him for me. She's a certified veterinarian who has a lot of rats, a couple of older males too. I'm a bit blue that I have to send him away, but it's for the best I guess. I can't take proper care of him and it's sad to have him live on his own.

Onni (my surviving rat) has a large bump on one of his flanks. He also seems to have lost weight. I need to take him to the vet. Real soon.

At last, good news from the studying department.

After my breakdown last week, I still managed to write something before Thursday, but not enough in my opinion. I went to the professor for my appointment yesterday, expecting to be told that it all needed to be faster and that I had not done what he had asked... but instead he told me I was doing quite well and should keep it up.

I was so relieved... today I am going to party :)

Everything sucks. I am trying to work as hard as I can on my thesis and I still only manage to work between 0:00 and 4:00 am, I do shoddy work, I don't get it, I feel lonesome and desperate. I have to have the whole text analysed by thursday and I'll never for my life make it. I cannot concentrate for more than 10 minutes at a time. I feel so horrible I am sobbing. I cannot read the Japanese and the translation I have sucks. I feel like I am nothing more than a schoolchild just paraphrasing the book it's supposed to write a report on. I feel so miserable, so miserable.

Behind the cut: three French anti-aids/pro-condom animations. Not suitable for those who are squeamish about sex or for those under 18 whose parents are squeamish about sex. (There, now don't blame me if you get in trouble :p )

( Not safe for work )